holidays

There is a saying "ni neart go cur le ch́eile" which translates roughly as "no strength without unity" and would have been used for energetic activities, for instance, gathering together to save hay. It is much more than many ‘hands make light work’. On Sunday we did the Galway women’s mini marathon; 10k along beautiful Galway bay and up Threadneedle mountain (road) and around in a loop. There were about 1000 starters and we were all warmed up by a zumba dancer. The positive energy is still vibrating.
Those energetic community activities have been lost to machines. The photo above was taken in 1956 by Robert Cresswell, an anthropologist from the Sorbonne in Paris, who lived in Kinvara for a year documenting the community. His work was published in a respected book about rural Ireland. The photos paint quite an austere picture of life but also show that sense of unity. They include interiors of the cottage on this farm. You can view them at www.kinvara.com/cresswell/gallery
I was shown this week how to access Griffiths valuation (1847-1854) a full scale valuation of Ireland comparing the value of an acre of land in County Meath at one pound to the rest of the country. From the maps you can read the information that leads you to the correct record. It showed that on this farm there were 7 in the family in a 3 bedroom cottage, with an office, a coach house, stable, pig shed and a hen house. I have been told that there used to be a horse drawn taxi service here so maybe that explains the office. See the records at http://www.askaboutireland.ie/

I also felt "ni neart go cur le ch́eile" on the swimming bus at the weekend. 40 children singing Jedward’s ‘Lipstick’ at 9am on a Saturday morning is certainly powerful! They were thrilled to see John Fox heading out of town on his 540 mile mule ride from Malin head (Donegal) to Mizin head (Cork) to raise funds for the Barretstown centre. The Kinvara swimming club was formed in 1969 after nine local school children lost their lives at New Quay in a boat accident. After winning a Camogie match a fisherman was giving the children spins on his new oyster boat at Linnanes bar to celebrate. Too many children got on the last trip across the choppy inlet and when they all ran to one side to look at something the boat capsized. The scars are still there and the Kinvara swimming club has been taking the children to the local pool for lessons ever since. A documentary was made about it www.rte.ie/tv/disasters/s2ep4

School holidays start today, the sun is out and it is raining, there must be a rainbow somewhere.

fathers

Sunday was Fathers' day and my 5 year old came up with the idea of going to visit her grandfather in the graveyard. He died of a heart attack when my husband was three, leaving a young wife with 5 children. The girls scampered around happily looking at all the gravestones and making me read out names. One old stone had a long list.

‘There’s a lot of them in there, they must be piled up on top of each other’

There was a tiny ancient metal cross,

‘Look over here, a fairy grave’.

On one of them was a carving of Jesus.

‘Jesus’ grave… I have found Jesus’ grave…’ my youngest shouted delightedly. (that would boost tourism in the area and probably save Galway airport…)

The little girl that died in January and broke everyone’s heart is buried in the corner. On her grave were flowers, cards, windmills and little toys left by her school friends. My throat ached trying to hold down the sadness as I thought of her family. But the children danced around it saying how pretty it was,

‘Definitely the prettiest in the graveyard.’

When it was time to leave my husband was calling them. There were a few other respectful mourners going about their business. My youngest daughter shouted in temper and stamped her foot.

‘I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A PRA…YER’

Children can’t tip toe around these subjects.

They are completely overtired with the holidays approaching. My 5yr old has turned into a stamping, shouting tornado and the 6 yr old into one long whine. They collapse in tears at the slightest provocation. The school tour is on tomorrow and they are so overexcited it’s not funny. They are going on a bus to Coole Park to have a teddy bears picnic. They have already practised the picnic on the floor multiple times and the 6 yr old asked me if it was normal to see teddy bears ‘every where’

I felt that mothers’ guilty yearning of wanting to pack a small rucksack and take a one way flight to Thailand. Then I remembered how much I miss the childhood selves of my oldest two, never again to demand constant drinks of water or trip me up around the kitchen. That age old mother’s conundrum. It was cured with a trip to the cinema on Saturday to see Senna with a big pot of Ben and Jerrys.

I was speaking to my own father. He wanted help using his new Kindle. He had managed to download something inappropriate and was in a panic to get it off his list. A bit like the time they wanted to go to ‘Lord of the Rings’ and ended up sitting through half of ‘The Ring’! 

After a lot of ‘right arrow, press the dot, press home, down arrow, up arrow, press home again' etc. we managed to delete it. This was no a small achievement over the phone as these machines are never obvious, especially if you are 78 and have had to embrace this whole new language in the last few years.

My husband’s father and uncle were the first people in the village to hook up a TV. They used to face it out the window of the shop and everyone would gather on the pavement to watch it. He would have coped well in the technological age, if only they had perfected the pacemaker a couple of years earlier.

nature

The four year old pony, Floyd, ended up going to his first show on Sunday. He was third, in the pouring rain, which I was happy about as he was only ridden for the first time in January. Here he is relaxing the day after!

I lodged the planning application for the nature centre. As I am an engineer I was able to draw up the plans myself and do all the surveying etc. which means we only have to pay the application fee and because it is a conversion that is minimal. The barn would contain a farm café and an introduction to the flora and fauna to be found on the mile long nature walk around the farm. This has views of the Burren mountains and includes limestone pavement, rare and alpine flowers, native species of trees, farm animals, poultry and an unusual tidal freshwater lake or ‘turlough’ that attracts a variety of birds and even the odd otter. It is a bite sized piece of the Burren and hopefully you would leave armed with all the information to explore the other ten square miles and full up with a delicious lunch of local produce including our own Aberdeen Angus burgers or home grown soups and salads.

We plan to develop the nature walk to include play equipment such as zip wires and climbing frames to encourage children to complete the walk and pick up a bit of knowledge as they go. We have also included an indoor play area for rainy days. It rained all Sunday and when I tried to google ‘things to do with children indoors in Galway’ the only results were the Aquarium in Galway city (been there), the museum (shut on Sundays) and the swimming pools (they were swimming on Saturday). There is a huge need for indoor facilities for locals and tourists.

We applied for a nature centre in the Celtic tiger years. Our plans were way more ambitious with a state of the art new eco building and holiday apartments. Although Galway County Council approved the application and we had huge support from all the locals and the Galway Enterprise Board were (and still are) backing the project, one objection pushed the application to An Bord Pleanala (the planning appeals board) who notoriously do not agree with Galway County Council and it was refused. It is amazing how one €20 euro objection can disappoint so many. We are hoping that in these tough times if the same person objects (they have 5 weeks to do this) the appeals board would see it would be crazy to stop a new facility that will create jobs. We have been careful to address all the issues raised by them in the previous application but ‘what will be will be’. If it doesn’t go through we will be have to consider looking again at the opportunities in London or further afield.

old friend

I have become used to not having any money in the bank but the credit in my ‘wellness’ account is very healthy. I was let go from my Celtic tiger engineering job a year ago, luckily my husband was able to secure a mechanics job when his business folded. It was hard to adjust but we are lucky to be able to hang on here on our small farm and just about cover the bills.

I have two young children and since then have been able to invest lots of time in them. I have taken up a part time volunteer’s job that has been very rewarding. I started running which has been fabulous and have met so many new people as everyone is running; no one can afford a gym subscription now. I am doing a government funded accounting course which is wrecking my head, but also sorting out that area that I was never confident about. I have had time to devote to my writing, which fulfils some deep creative need and I am nearly ready to lodge a planning application to convert the farm shed into a café for a nature walk. Everyone is coming down to earth and realising that a healthy bank account doesn’t necessarily mean they are wealthy.

I trained a four year old pony over the winter and he is going to Galway County Show in two weeks time. As he has to be fat and shining and also ridden by a child I took him for a long ride yesterday morning to settle him down. It was his first time on the road, as he has only just been shod, and although I left very early to avoid traffic and it was a bank holiday, we still managed to meet a vast array of vehicles including a JCB and two gigantic silage tractors and trailers. He was excellent with the traffic although strangely afraid of a cow standing suspiciously on the horizon. We had a huge argument about not turning back and going home, which I won, luckily.

Part of the route took us down a long straight road called the New Line. It cuts through a huge expanse of Burren limestone pavement and is unsullied by poles or wires. It’s like the moon. It was one of the original sites considered for Shannon Airport. Bloody Cranesbill is flowering at the moment, splashing shocking pink here and there and orangey-yellow hills of Birdsfoot trefoil are dotted around amongst the scattering of Michaelmas daisies. A lone hare lolloped down the road ahead of us. It was drizzling with that warm, early morning, Evian spray of summer rain. We surfed along on endorphins feeling serene. It was like that delicious plane between wake and sleep when your brain has not shut off but it has stopped accepting any signals of physical or mental stresses.

Recovering from yet another wedding I was watching a bit of Oprah and Portia de Rossi was promoting her book. She introduced her mare and proclaimed ‘she saved my life.’ To many that may sound sensational, but I understood.

When I was a young girl in the pit of depression, with a tiny baby, living in a small cottage with no running water or electricity and locked in the mental prison of a controlling relationship I pinned the last thread of my will to exist, and my last few pennies, on a small, untrained 5 yr old chestnut gelding. He was a problem, a runaway.

He taught me that there was only one option- forward, and any obstacle could be overcome if you focus on the far side. He pulled me out of the pit, and took me to many exciting places. He is 28 now and although I was offered 50,000 punts for him after he won his first event he is still out the field eating grass. So I understand.

i do

I haven’t done the Siege of Ennis for a while.

It’s a set you don’t have to worry about forgetting (or learning); designed for the young, old, alien or inebriated.

In a nutshell:

• Stamp towards the opposite four people
• Stamp back
• Gallop to the right
• Gallop to the left
• Twizzle around
• More stamping
• Line up and pass under the arches of the arms in front to change partners.

And if you try to do something wrong you will quickly be diverted to the correct traffic flow. It mixes up the crowd and is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

We have an old friend who never had a girlfriend. He got married on Saturday (to a woman!). It was a nice surprise for the 200 guests.

I was watching the legs pass to communion and 99% of them had a fake tan. No one does style like the Cailín. Any one of them was match fit for Sarah Jessica Parker.

An Irish wedding is a full day operation. The service is normally around 1pm. Therefore everyone is rushing to get ready and doesn’t have lunch. While the photos are being taken people normally hang around the hotel catching up with friends and have a ‘few’ drinks. The meal starts at 5 or 6pm, at which point you are fainting with hunger and totally intoxicated.

The bridal party sit at the top table on display to the guests, looking rather worried and exposed until the speeches are over. The cake is cut, tables are cleared away and the band comes on with a disco afterwards until 3 or 4 am. There are rock songs, ballads and waltzes – something for everyone. It has always been acceptable for two women to waltz if they can’t get a man to go up with them, or a crowd of young guys to mess around on the floor together, but what was new, and would have been unusual to see even 5 years ago, were two girls hooking up, and two guys getting cosy. So civil partnership is in and things are filtering down to ground level. There is a healthy new level of acceptance about a lot of stuff.

Some friends were telling us about a wedding they went to in New York back in 2003. They were done up to the nines for the service and were amazed to find everyone in shorts and T shirts in the church. So they thought ‘we have got this all wrong’ and went back to the hotel to change into something casual. When they got to the reception everyone was in Armani suits, you can imagine how uncomfortable they felt. There was a huge buffet and they thought ‘this must be the meal’ and, as they were starving, they piled up there plates. They were then ushered through to the 6 course banquet. The next day was the famous power cut and they had to give a cab driver $100 to get them out of the city…all very confusing!

So if any of you haven’t been to an Irish wedding you now know what to expect; have a big breakfast, cancel everything for 2 days (you wont be fit for anything the day after) and don’t spare the false eyelashes..

true love

 

Not everyone could be in Moneygall or College Green yesterday.

I was in Out Patients most of the day with my 17yr old son who broke his arm falling off a horse 6 weeks ago.

There were over 100 people waiting for reviews of broken bones; children, seniors and disabled, all called for 1pm.

That makes no sense, the place was crazy.

But it forced us to sit next to each other for four hours which I am so grateful for.

Since he left home to start a ‘career’ riding horses I haven’t seen enough of him.

I miss the thud, thud, thud of the slither hitting off the gable wall, that drove us mad for 12 years.

When I see groups of his friends in the village his absence is painful. He should have had a couple more years of that care free existence.

The yellow school bus seems to wait around corners to pounce on me and break my heart every couple of days.

We were comfortable in each others company and a few sensitive subjects were broached that you couldn’t attempt on a quick visit.

Of course I want him to go back to school. I know education is the key,

but I don’t know how to sell that to an invincible 17yr old who cuts the cast off his broken arm because it is annoying him.

Outside x-ray we had a radio and we all strained to hear as Obama left the American Embassy.

Big excitement as the car got stuck and texts went off all around the room ‘Obama’s car is stuck on the ramp’

Outside Physio there was a small TV. Nurses, doctors and patients were glued to it as he arrived in Moneygall.

It didn’t do much for the progress of the queue but we can forgive him that.

We saw him drink The Pint.

I saw Air force One arrive before I left and I got home just in time for The Speech.

We have no money, the hospitals are in chaos, it has rained for the last month but everyone is in love today.

An American President in Ireland is guaranteed a good reception, but yesterday was special.

We are a small country, but we have a big, handsome friend.

bless

It was first Holy Communion on Saturday. Bouncy castles popped up in every other garden, people came on the radio complaining about the amount of money thrown around, that the only people not affected by the recession were 8 year old children who would pocket hundreds of euro. 50 would be standard in a card from a family member or close friend. Then there is the outfit and new clothes for the rest of the family, caterers or a hotel, drink..etc etc etc… Little girls first Holy Communion outfits (dress, shoes, bag, veil, tiara, umbrella) can run into hundreds. Some schools have insisted on school uniform to stop the competition and keep the focus on the ceremony, which is a good idea. But it is also good for a child to have a day that is about them. They are special, maybe spoilt, but they have a clear signal from their family and community that they are cherished, and that is hugely important for a child.

The joviality of the weekend was blown away by the news emerging of child abuse in the area. Snippets of ghastly information filtered through over a couple of days. Anyone in authority was tight lipped and kept a stony cold silence, terrified to invade privacy or make false accusations.

You always hear that there is abuse in every community, behind closed doors. When discussing this with friends we would say ‘surely not?’ and ‘which kids are vulnerable?’

And it was always these two.

How I wish I had made a determined effort to reach out to them, called around to their house, reported my suspicions. There were little red flags; grubby clothes (that’s not a crime especially if you are a struggling parent, we are all guilty of a dirty uniform day), never accepting invitations for play dates or birthday parties (that is a parents prerogative), living in a remote area and often seen wandering on the road unsupervised from a young age.

When details emerge you know deep down that this was not an isolated incident; this was a 7 year sentence. There is a huge wave of grief, especially among mothers with children their age, we should have done more, we are all complicit.

The facts are the children are not in school, the official line from the school is ‘they are in good health and good hands’, the rest is hear say.

But the story rings true and it is a very hollow sound.

If you suspect child abuse click this link for advice http://helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm